(51/365)
I’ve been avoiding it a lot since the new year. I never minded it because it was always just there. But - last night. Last night my mind went somewhere else. I was all happy being with you… that close. I wanted to spend my whole night with you by my side. Then, I got sad, maybe because I was —. But, once I saw you wanted to be with her more, I just knew that me and you only happened for that moment. I know it won’t happen again. My heart felt weird. I felt like I was always coming in second. I felt like the thing that happened between me and Rhawnie was starting all over again but with a different guy and a different friend and I started to cry. Even though I shouldn’t even cry, I mean we are not even together. Maybe it was because I was —. I couldn’t leave it alone, but I did. I let others handle what I should. But, I kept my mouth shut because I don’t want to say anything. I’m too much of a pushover to do anything about it. Though, I’m not going to deny it anymore. I do like you. But - I’m not going to do anything about it. I’ll just leave it there where it should be.
